Thinking...

In general, married women without children are highly capable women. Many of them have been trying to conceive for some time. Almost all of them have completed their education, many with advanced degrees. They have demanding, promising careers and many exciting possibilities open to them. Most, if not all of them are quite sure they could comfortably provide for families for the rest of their lives without children. The trouble is, they don't want to. They feel torn. More than anything else, they want to be a mother. They want to have children born in the covenant and experience the challenges and blessings that come with it along with. They have testimony's that those relationships are the source of the greatest joy- and potentially the greatest pain- in time and eternity. They yearn to be loved and to have someone to love and serve that is their own. They are not afraid of it. There is no part of them that doesn't want it.The Lord has assured us time and time again that He knows us and has a plan for our life's.

He loves them dearly- they feel that every day and know that His plan will be the best course for them, will bring them the most joy and growth in their life's. They know they are not alone.

At the same time these women are painfully aware that not every one has the opportunity to conceive on their own. They know that many of the wonderful sisters they associate with will not have the opportunity to have children. That they may not. This is a hard reality. But there's no use hiding from it, pretending they don't know. The challenge for them is finding the balance between developing their own strengths and talents as a couple, embracing and finding the joy they know God will provide in married life, and striving for, hoping for, preparing for life with a family of their own. Sometimes they feel like pursuing "worldly" goals like professional achievement and community involvement is a lack of faith- that they could perhaps be telling Heavenly Father that they'd rather have that path. Sometimes they feel like throwing everything they are into preparing for children would break their hearts- like it's just setting them up for a disappointment they can't handle.What they are striving for is to somehow find the strength and grace to keep and nurture that most tender part of their hearts- the part that desperately wants to be a mother- to keep it open and soft, protect it from getting hard or closed off by all the disappointments of infertility...while still pursuing worthy goals, developing themselves as a women, wife and as a productive, contributing member of society- finding joy in whatever role they are in, making the most of it and loving it. It's a very difficult balance for them.It's easy to be the strong one- to walk the path alone so to speak- not to need anyone but our companion and the Lord. If that's all they had to do, I think they could face it without so much as flinching. The women around us are strong, capable and good. They know the Lord, they love Him and trust Him. They have learned to be strong- they've had to. And some of them, through years of hurt and disappointment have become closed off from that tender place inside and learn to get by on their own. The hard part for them is not being strong- it's being willing to submit to Gods will, staying open to love through all the hurt and frustration along the way. These are righteous women and men who are wanting what they have always wanted and been taught to have.

My heart goes out to them, my excitement of being a mother is nothing I wish to hurt them. I pray for them and know they WILL have families. Sometimes there are people who have such love and such kind hearts that they are the only ones who could ever love a baby not from their womb, that would be perfect candidates for adopting. When Jared and I were trying I was frustrated and mad and I can feel only a sliver of what they feel and send my compassion to them. God loves you. He loves your desires and wishes to be a family. Remember blessings are waiting to be pored out on you. Continue to be hopeful, prayerful and ready, the blessings will come your way.