Struggles

I have been so MIA since finding out I was pregnant.  I have had NO motivation to do anything but take care of my son. My house is a mess and my son and I look like we haven't bathed in weeks.  BUT we are alive and kicking and that is what is important.

I got my Zofran pump a couple weeks ago and HATED it.  It delivered the right amount of zofran to keep me from feeling nauseous but didn't help with the throwing up.  Sticking my self more then once a day in the stomach was NOT working for me. They brought me at home IV's to get some fluids and try to help feeling less sick...didn't work. I found out I had a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection) and that the meds I was taking for it were not working and then the ones I could take were a derivative of penicillin (which I am allergic to) I couldn't keep anything down long enough to teat it and so I was hospitalized last week to get IV antibiotics. That is when they discovered my UTI turned into a Kidney Infection and that I would need other meds to treat that fast before I started having kidney damage.  After one day on IV and all the meds I still was very sick.  My Dr pulled out a prescription from the 1950's to see if it would help and low an behold with in 3 hours I was able to keep chicken bullion cube down, and then chicken soup and then ice cream. What a miracle.  He said in 10 yrs he hasn't had to admit anyone to the hospital and that my hyperemissis is by far the worst he has seen and if I had it with two then I would be destined to have it with a 3rd....which isn't happening. While in the hospital I had side effects to the large dose of Reglan he tried to give me. I was having major twitches (that could be come lasting if not addressed right away) as soon as I started the twitches they stopped the Reglan. I had a rash in my arm pits and on my belly and behind my knees because of my allergy to the antibiotics of penicillin.

Finally after a few days I was released from the hospital and now my meds are: Zofran for nausea, Fenagrin for vomiting (side effect sleepiness)...I was on both these with Noah and still was sick the entire time. ALSO I am on Benedictine (Unison...sleeping pill) and B-6.  Two sleeping pills makes me VERY tired, but not throwing up.  My body is being tricked into producing a sleep hormone therefore it isn't letting me throw up.  Still feeling icky and have good days and bad but I am hanging on...barley.

Today I had a sono gram and I am 8 weeks and 3 days. We saw babies little hands and feet and brain.  I wish I could say the appointment was the same as it was with Noah and I was so happy I was in tears but instead I was just relieved. Relieved I am not doing this for nothing.  When I came in after my miscarriage my old OBGYN said I needed to have an abortion right away since I was so early on and my body would need time to adjust and this was not healthy to carry it.  THIS is one of the main reasons I chose a different Dr a High risk DR that wouldn't suggest abortion to me as an alternative to 9 months of sickness and body thrashing.  When I met with my new DR he was very optimistic even if only he had just learned of my past hyperemissis.  Sadly the same day I came in a lady in the waiting room next to me looked as sick as I felt and she was there for an abortion because she had such bad hyperemissis that she did NOT want to do this (pregnancy) again. I felt sorry for her choice but I totally understood her fear.  I would never have an abortion but I will say that my depression gets really bad some days that I wish I didn't have to go through this, but never to that extreme.

I also found out today that my liver has taken quite a beating since becoming pregnant and after what pregnancy was like with Noah so I have to get on some antibiotics to fight the touch of jaundice I have.  Some days I can eat what ever I want but most days I am stuck on ginger ale and bland foods.

Noah continues to be a trouper and support and help mama out a lot.  He doesn't know whats going on with me and I am sure has been scared of my short fuse at times.  Thank goodness the dogs are out side 100% of the time and I don't have to deal with them.  Also so glad Noah is big enough now to feed him self and do most things on his own.  Jared has also been the greatest help.  He took Noah on full time while I was in the hospital and would say to me "Man he is a handful!" understanding what I go through.  He helps put Noah to bed every night since I still can't get the energy to lift him into or out of his crib.  He has done cleaning and all the cooking and just does such an awesome job.  I am so blessed to have them both.