Crazy times!

So a LOT has been going on with us!

Work for me has been crazy! We added 10k clients to a new system and this caused a lot of hick ups and stress on me to be working so much! But I have such an amazing husband who has been working so hard to make sure I have the time to get things done with work.

We moved! Finally! We were only renting a small apartment until we got a house and we finally moved in this weekend! There are boxes all around, but alas we are here! Noah loves that he can run around and plan with a good sized back yard for the dogs to play too.

Something a little unexpected happened over the past few weeks.  A small miracle I guess you could say.  We found out a month back we were pregnant. 3 positive tests confirmed it. I didn't want to tell anyone one because I never felt like anyone really cared when I was pregnant with Noah since he wasn't the first on either side so I didn't want another no one cares baby. I wanted to keep this only between Jared and Noah and me. Make it special amongst us like we did Noah. Well Jared couldn't wait so 2 weeks ago he told his grandparents since we are so close to them. They were ecstatic. As we were. Dr appointments were all scheduled. Insurance was all ready for me to get the prenatal care I knew I would have to have. And then last Saturday I lost the baby.  I was feeling some MAJOR cramps and then lost of bleeding. I had to go the the ER so they could check to see if it was a tubular pregnancy. We were in the ER for 7 hours while grandma and grandpa were with Noah. I honestly was just fine. I just understood that things weren't forming right and God knew more then I did and the baby would have to try again later.  Jared was really upset. I felt awful that I didn't feel so sad. MAYBE it was because I knew how hard it was being pregnant last time. I don't know.

That following Monday I had to go the OB and get some blood work done to again check my hcg levels and see where I was progressing in order to dismiss the baby naturally.  I was 100% fine, until....5 pregnant women came in and sat down next to me. I began to ball. They had me leave the waiting room since I was upsetting the pregnant women..ugh excuse me they were upsetting me! I was so sad and I knew it was all hormones and was mad at myself for letting me get so bent out of shape about this. Anyway the Dr I have is great and she counseled me to read some pamphlets and talk to my pastor (bishop) if needed. I am 100% fine today. No tears are present now since the hormones are finally leaving me. That was the most unfair part of all of this. All the symptoms of pregnancy but no baby. Miracles happen every day for us and the ones that seem like a loss are always opening a window to an even bigger miracle to come!